Mental Health Information: Helping a Friend | University of Minnesota Morris
Archived: 2026-04-23 17:12
Mental Health Information: Helping a Friend | University of Minnesota Morris
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Mental Health Information: Helping a Friend
You are not alone!
When you are in a situation in which you are talking with a friend about their problems, here are some general guidelines to keep in mind.
General Guidelines
As a friend of another University of Minnesota Morris student, you have a unique opportunity to positively impact your friend’s life. When a student is upset or in distress, she/he commonly turns to friends for support or advice. College students generally like to help out their friends. Much of the time, this works out well, and your input helps your friend through her/his problem. At other times the problems that are brought by a friend can be very intense, feel overwhelming, or make you feel afraid. It is important to pay attention to these feelings, since they may be signaling that you are at the limits of what you know to do to be helpful. It is at this time that you can best help your friend by suggesting that they might benefit from talking to a professional.
Expand all
+
Indicators of Distress
Please Keep in Mind
Friends that you choose to talk to may or may not have a mental health concern. Respond to her/his behavior. Don’t try to diagnose.
When in doubt, it is always okay to refer to or consult with
Student Counseling
at
320-589-6060
.
None of these Indicators alone is sufficient for predicting mental health problems, aggression and/or violence to self or others. However, when they occur in combination they may suggest your friend is in distress and that you may want to draw in other professionals for advice on how to handle the situation.
Know your limits and don’t overextend yourself. Experience shows that sometimes other students get too involved in trying to help their friends and then struggle if their efforts are not having the positive effect they are seeking.
It is better to act sooner rather than later.
The intention here is to increase your awareness of signs that something might be wrong with your friend. However, the information below is not meant to suggest that you must be a “junior therapist” and ask questions to pull out information. Rather, these are behaviors that you may observe and/or that your friend may share in conversation.
Cultural factors often play a role in how students communicate distress. Students from some cultural backgrounds may believe that it is shameful to talk about their problems with anyone outside of their family. Others may communicate distress through complaints about physical symptoms.
International students may experience signs of “culture shock” at some point after their arrival in the United States. This is a common reaction to adjusting to different beliefs, attitudes, and values in a new country. Problems encountered by an international student may create a complex situation for her/him because of the rules and regulations regarding foreign citizens and whether they are in or out of status. The International Student Program,
320-589-6094
, can provide assistance to students or concerned friends and make sure that any decisions made to solve the problems will not jeopardize the student’s ability to remain in the U.S.
Academic Indicators of Distress
Missed assignments
Deterioration in quality of work
A drop in grades
Repeated absences from class
A negative change in classroom performance
Verbal aggressiveness in class meetings
Disorganized or erratic performance
Continual seeking of special accommodations (late papers, extensions, postponed examinations, etc.)
Essays or creative work that indicate extremes of hopelessness, social isolation, rage, or despair
Personal/Interpersonal Indicators of Distress
Tearfulness
Unprovoked anger or hostility
Excessive dependency
Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness
Exaggerated personality traits (e.g., more withdrawn or animated than normal)
Direct statements indicating distress, family problems, or other difficulties
A hunch or gut-level reaction that something is wrong
Expressions of concern about a student in the class by his/her peers
Changes in typical clothing (baggy clothing; long sleeves; inappropriate for weather)
Physical Indicators of Distress
Deterioration in physical appearance
Visible changes in weight
Lack of personal hygiene
Excessive fatigue
Appearing bleary-eyed, hungover, or smelling of alcohol
Appearing sick or ill
Chapped hands
Environmental Indicators of Distress
Observations from janitorial staff
Not picking up mail in residence hall mailbox
Not using meal card in the residence hall dining room
Formal disciplinary notices in the residence hall
Look Out For
Statements to the effect that the student is “going away for a long time”
Any written note or verbal statement that has a “sense of finality” (possible suicidality)
Severe depression
Any history of suicidal thoughts or attempts
Giving away of prized possessions
Self-injurious or self-destructive behaviors
Out-of-control behavior
Essays or papers that focus on despair, suicide, death, violence or aggression
Verbal or written (email) threats of harm to self or others
+
Beginning a Conversation About Your Concerns
By communicating interest and concern to a distressed student, you may play an important role in helping that student regain the balance to cope with distress and function well.
If you are not sure how to approach a student you are concerned about, consult with a friend, or call
Student Counseling
(
320-589-6060
) and ask to speak with a counselor.
Counselors are available to serve as consultants to students, faculty, and staff handling difficult student situations.
If you choose to approach a friend you’re concerned about or if a friend reaches out to you for help with personal concerns, here are some suggestions that might make the opportunity more comfortable for you and more helpful for your friend.
Talk to your friend, either alone or with someone else, in private. Speak directly, sincerely, and honestly.
Express your concern in specific, nonjudgmental terms and within a context of caring and concern. Tell her/him clearly what behaviors you have observed that are causing you concern.
Listen to thoughts and feelings in a sensitive, non-threatening way. Communicate understanding by repeating back the essence of what the student has told you.
Let your friend know that you believe a counselor would be of help. If she/he takes a defensive posture, simply restate your concerns and recommendations.
If your friend is willing to schedule an appointment, offer to assist this process by offering her/him immediate use of your phone or by walking her/him to
Student Counseling
if you are willing to do so.
Student Counseling
can be reached at
320-589-6060
Monday–Friday from 8am–12pm & 1 p.m.–4:30 p.m.
The office is located on the 2nd floor of
Behmler Hall
, room 235.
Crisis Connection
Dangerous crisis situations include suicidal behaviors or threats, homicidal behavior or threats, irrational dangerous behavior, or excessive consumption of alcohol or drugs. If you are not sure whether the situation represents immediate danger, err on the side of caution and call 911. See more information about
Crisis Consultation
.
If the mental health crisis is not dangerous, but you wish to talk to someone immediately after hours or on weekends for assistance about what to do next, call the following 24-hour help line:
866-379-6363
Crisis Connection is a 24-hour helpline for the state of Minnesota.
+
Referring a Friend - on-campus resources
Student Counseling
235 Behmler
320-589-6060
Student Counseling helps students cope with mental illnesses, recover from alcohol or drug abuse, and manage any type of personal crises or stress. Student Counseling also deals with emergencies, such as suicide threats and sexual assault. After hours, students in need of emergency services can call campus police at 320-208-6500, or 911.
Violence Prevention
+
Important Reminders
Do not take on other people’s problems and then feel responsible for the outcome of the problem.
If you find that you are spending large amounts of time talking to your friend, worrying about her/him, and/or trying to solve their problems for them, it is time for you to bring in other people to help. You are here for an education and growth experiences, and taking on other’s problems distracts you from those goals.
Do not promise your friend confidentiality of any information they may pass along to you when they talk to you about a problem.
By doing so, you may later be in a difficult situation if the situation is beyond what you can assist and has possibly turned into a situation involving danger for your friend or others. You may delay asking for needed help because you promised not to tell anyone.
Get support for yourself if you feel you need it or if you do not know what to do to help your friend any further.
There are many resources available at the university and you can find these listed at the mental health web page.
Student Counseling
provides consultation to students and other who are unsure about what to do to help a distressed student. If you are in the residence halls, please talk with a residence hall staff member and they can direct you to additional resources as well.
Safety always comes first.
If you are concerned for the safety of you, your friend, or anyone else, call the
Morris Campus Public Safety
immediately.
320-589-6000
If you feel an issue was a violation of the Student Code of Conduct, please contact the Secretary of the Student Behavior Committee, T.J. Ross at
320-589-6475
or
[email protected]
.
Resources
Students Assisting Students: Interactive Mental Health Training
ULifeline: Helping a Friend with JED Foundation: I Want To Help My Friend
How to Help Someone Who Self-Injures
If you don’t self-injure, it may be hard to imagine intentionally cutting or hurting yourself. The thought that a friend might be self-injuring can be shocking and confusing. You may be angry and frustrated with your friend for hurting themselves, and you may have no clue about what to do or how to help.
Adapted from
What to Do If You Think Someone Is Self-Injuring
Here are some suggestions
Expand all
+
Learn about self-injury
You might not want to hurt your friend’s feelings by confronting them, or you might be afraid to bring up the subject. But ignoring the fact that your friend is intentionally hurting themself doesn’t make the situation better. While self-injuring seems to feel good to the person, this feeling is fleeting. Afterwards, individuals feel terrible and ashamed. Also, serious injuries can occur. When alcohol or drugs are added to the mix, individuals are at risk for life-threatening injuries.
+
Don't ignore it
It can be tough to grasp why someone would want to intentionally harm themself. Learning why people self-injure helps you better understand what your friend is going through and empathize with them. This also helps you become better equipped to help them. Remember, too, that self-injury doesn’t just include cutting. Watch out for signs of bruising, broken bones, pinching, punching, biting or unexplained scars.
+
Approach your friend in a compassionate way
People who self-injure often already feel embarrassed and guilty. When talking to your friend, try to understand their situation and be compassionate. Avoid getting angry, yelling or blaming them. Don’t tell them that what they’re doing is disgusting or wrong. Try not to judge or tell them to stop the behavior. Be open as you listen to your friend. Also, tell your friend that you’ll always be there for them.
+
Be there
Self-injurers can isolate themselves, which only makes matters worse. Call your friend to see how they’re doing. Spend quality time with them, participating in activities you both enjoy. Basically, try to make yourself available — but within reason. It’s important for you to have boundaries, and to remember that you don’t have control over what your friend does. So if they continue to self-injure, this isn’t your fault.
+
Encourage them to get help
Seeking treatment is the best thing a person who self-injures can do. Seeing a counselor can help them build better coping skills, learn to express their emotions in healthy ways, boost their self-esteem and lead to a happier life overall. You can find out about on-campus resources on your own and give the information to your friend. Or you can tell your friend that you’ll be happy to look for resources together.
+
Call the counseling center yourself
If you’re still not sure about the best way to approach your friend or if he or she is unwilling to get help, call the counseling center and ask to speak with a therapist. They can answer any questions you have and give you some suggestions on how to help your friend.
+
If it's an emergency, get help
If your friend has a serious injury, call 911 or take them to the hospital ASAP. While most self-injurers don’t mean to cause a life-threatening injury, it’s something that does happen. Get them the help they need right away.
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Skip to main content
Mental Health Information: Helping a Friend
You are not alone!
When you are in a situation in which you are talking with a friend about their problems, here are some general guidelines to keep in mind.
General Guidelines
As a friend of another University of Minnesota Morris student, you have a unique opportunity to positively impact your friend’s life. When a student is upset or in distress, she/he commonly turns to friends for support or advice. College students generally like to help out their friends. Much of the time, this works out well, and your input helps your friend through her/his problem. At other times the problems that are brought by a friend can be very intense, feel overwhelming, or make you feel afraid. It is important to pay attention to these feelings, since they may be signaling that you are at the limits of what you know to do to be helpful. It is at this time that you can best help your friend by suggesting that they might benefit from talking to a professional.
Expand all
+
Indicators of Distress
Please Keep in Mind
Friends that you choose to talk to may or may not have a mental health concern. Respond to her/his behavior. Don’t try to diagnose.
When in doubt, it is always okay to refer to or consult with
Student Counseling
at
320-589-6060
.
None of these Indicators alone is sufficient for predicting mental health problems, aggression and/or violence to self or others. However, when they occur in combination they may suggest your friend is in distress and that you may want to draw in other professionals for advice on how to handle the situation.
Know your limits and don’t overextend yourself. Experience shows that sometimes other students get too involved in trying to help their friends and then struggle if their efforts are not having the positive effect they are seeking.
It is better to act sooner rather than later.
The intention here is to increase your awareness of signs that something might be wrong with your friend. However, the information below is not meant to suggest that you must be a “junior therapist” and ask questions to pull out information. Rather, these are behaviors that you may observe and/or that your friend may share in conversation.
Cultural factors often play a role in how students communicate distress. Students from some cultural backgrounds may believe that it is shameful to talk about their problems with anyone outside of their family. Others may communicate distress through complaints about physical symptoms.
International students may experience signs of “culture shock” at some point after their arrival in the United States. This is a common reaction to adjusting to different beliefs, attitudes, and values in a new country. Problems encountered by an international student may create a complex situation for her/him because of the rules and regulations regarding foreign citizens and whether they are in or out of status. The International Student Program,
320-589-6094
, can provide assistance to students or concerned friends and make sure that any decisions made to solve the problems will not jeopardize the student’s ability to remain in the U.S.
Academic Indicators of Distress
Missed assignments
Deterioration in quality of work
A drop in grades
Repeated absences from class
A negative change in classroom performance
Verbal aggressiveness in class meetings
Disorganized or erratic performance
Continual seeking of special accommodations (late papers, extensions, postponed examinations, etc.)
Essays or creative work that indicate extremes of hopelessness, social isolation, rage, or despair
Personal/Interpersonal Indicators of Distress
Tearfulness
Unprovoked anger or hostility
Excessive dependency
Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness
Exaggerated personality traits (e.g., more withdrawn or animated than normal)
Direct statements indicating distress, family problems, or other difficulties
A hunch or gut-level reaction that something is wrong
Expressions of concern about a student in the class by his/her peers
Changes in typical clothing (baggy clothing; long sleeves; inappropriate for weather)
Physical Indicators of Distress
Deterioration in physical appearance
Visible changes in weight
Lack of personal hygiene
Excessive fatigue
Appearing bleary-eyed, hungover, or smelling of alcohol
Appearing sick or ill
Chapped hands
Environmental Indicators of Distress
Observations from janitorial staff
Not picking up mail in residence hall mailbox
Not using meal card in the residence hall dining room
Formal disciplinary notices in the residence hall
Look Out For
Statements to the effect that the student is “going away for a long time”
Any written note or verbal statement that has a “sense of finality” (possible suicidality)
Severe depression
Any history of suicidal thoughts or attempts
Giving away of prized possessions
Self-injurious or self-destructive behaviors
Out-of-control behavior
Essays or papers that focus on despair, suicide, death, violence or aggression
Verbal or written (email) threats of harm to self or others
+
Beginning a Conversation About Your Concerns
By communicating interest and concern to a distressed student, you may play an important role in helping that student regain the balance to cope with distress and function well.
If you are not sure how to approach a student you are concerned about, consult with a friend, or call
Student Counseling
(
320-589-6060
) and ask to speak with a counselor.
Counselors are available to serve as consultants to students, faculty, and staff handling difficult student situations.
If you choose to approach a friend you’re concerned about or if a friend reaches out to you for help with personal concerns, here are some suggestions that might make the opportunity more comfortable for you and more helpful for your friend.
Talk to your friend, either alone or with someone else, in private. Speak directly, sincerely, and honestly.
Express your concern in specific, nonjudgmental terms and within a context of caring and concern. Tell her/him clearly what behaviors you have observed that are causing you concern.
Listen to thoughts and feelings in a sensitive, non-threatening way. Communicate understanding by repeating back the essence of what the student has told you.
Let your friend know that you believe a counselor would be of help. If she/he takes a defensive posture, simply restate your concerns and recommendations.
If your friend is willing to schedule an appointment, offer to assist this process by offering her/him immediate use of your phone or by walking her/him to
Student Counseling
if you are willing to do so.
Student Counseling
can be reached at
320-589-6060
Monday–Friday from 8am–12pm & 1 p.m.–4:30 p.m.
The office is located on the 2nd floor of
Behmler Hall
, room 235.
Crisis Connection
Dangerous crisis situations include suicidal behaviors or threats, homicidal behavior or threats, irrational dangerous behavior, or excessive consumption of alcohol or drugs. If you are not sure whether the situation represents immediate danger, err on the side of caution and call 911. See more information about
Crisis Consultation
.
If the mental health crisis is not dangerous, but you wish to talk to someone immediately after hours or on weekends for assistance about what to do next, call the following 24-hour help line:
866-379-6363
Crisis Connection is a 24-hour helpline for the state of Minnesota.
+
Referring a Friend - on-campus resources
Student Counseling
235 Behmler
320-589-6060
Student Counseling helps students cope with mental illnesses, recover from alcohol or drug abuse, and manage any type of personal crises or stress. Student Counseling also deals with emergencies, such as suicide threats and sexual assault. After hours, students in need of emergency services can call campus police at 320-208-6500, or 911.
Violence Prevention
+
Important Reminders
Do not take on other people’s problems and then feel responsible for the outcome of the problem.
If you find that you are spending large amounts of time talking to your friend, worrying about her/him, and/or trying to solve their problems for them, it is time for you to bring in other people to help. You are here for an education and growth experiences, and taking on other’s problems distracts you from those goals.
Do not promise your friend confidentiality of any information they may pass along to you when they talk to you about a problem.
By doing so, you may later be in a difficult situation if the situation is beyond what you can assist and has possibly turned into a situation involving danger for your friend or others. You may delay asking for needed help because you promised not to tell anyone.
Get support for yourself if you feel you need it or if you do not know what to do to help your friend any further.
There are many resources available at the university and you can find these listed at the mental health web page.
Student Counseling
provides consultation to students and other who are unsure about what to do to help a distressed student. If you are in the residence halls, please talk with a residence hall staff member and they can direct you to additional resources as well.
Safety always comes first.
If you are concerned for the safety of you, your friend, or anyone else, call the
Morris Campus Public Safety
immediately.
320-589-6000
If you feel an issue was a violation of the Student Code of Conduct, please contact the Secretary of the Student Behavior Committee, T.J. Ross at
320-589-6475
or
[email protected]
.
Resources
Students Assisting Students: Interactive Mental Health Training
ULifeline: Helping a Friend with JED Foundation: I Want To Help My Friend
How to Help Someone Who Self-Injures
If you don’t self-injure, it may be hard to imagine intentionally cutting or hurting yourself. The thought that a friend might be self-injuring can be shocking and confusing. You may be angry and frustrated with your friend for hurting themselves, and you may have no clue about what to do or how to help.
Adapted from
What to Do If You Think Someone Is Self-Injuring
Here are some suggestions
Expand all
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Learn about self-injury
You might not want to hurt your friend’s feelings by confronting them, or you might be afraid to bring up the subject. But ignoring the fact that your friend is intentionally hurting themself doesn’t make the situation better. While self-injuring seems to feel good to the person, this feeling is fleeting. Afterwards, individuals feel terrible and ashamed. Also, serious injuries can occur. When alcohol or drugs are added to the mix, individuals are at risk for life-threatening injuries.
+
Don't ignore it
It can be tough to grasp why someone would want to intentionally harm themself. Learning why people self-injure helps you better understand what your friend is going through and empathize with them. This also helps you become better equipped to help them. Remember, too, that self-injury doesn’t just include cutting. Watch out for signs of bruising, broken bones, pinching, punching, biting or unexplained scars.
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Approach your friend in a compassionate way
People who self-injure often already feel embarrassed and guilty. When talking to your friend, try to understand their situation and be compassionate. Avoid getting angry, yelling or blaming them. Don’t tell them that what they’re doing is disgusting or wrong. Try not to judge or tell them to stop the behavior. Be open as you listen to your friend. Also, tell your friend that you’ll always be there for them.
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Be there
Self-injurers can isolate themselves, which only makes matters worse. Call your friend to see how they’re doing. Spend quality time with them, participating in activities you both enjoy. Basically, try to make yourself available — but within reason. It’s important for you to have boundaries, and to remember that you don’t have control over what your friend does. So if they continue to self-injure, this isn’t your fault.
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Encourage them to get help
Seeking treatment is the best thing a person who self-injures can do. Seeing a counselor can help them build better coping skills, learn to express their emotions in healthy ways, boost their self-esteem and lead to a happier life overall. You can find out about on-campus resources on your own and give the information to your friend. Or you can tell your friend that you’ll be happy to look for resources together.
+
Call the counseling center yourself
If you’re still not sure about the best way to approach your friend or if he or she is unwilling to get help, call the counseling center and ask to speak with a therapist. They can answer any questions you have and give you some suggestions on how to help your friend.
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If it's an emergency, get help
If your friend has a serious injury, call 911 or take them to the hospital ASAP. While most self-injurers don’t mean to cause a life-threatening injury, it’s something that does happen. Get them the help they need right away.
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